Jokes , Trivia & Anecdotes...

yaaaaawn!!!!!! the silly pieces as forwarded to me. i claim no originality. so dont accuse me of plagiarism!!!

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Location: Westlands, Nairobi, Kenya

nothing much

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

tongue twisters: .READ OUT ALOUD..

1. PARALLELOGRAM


2. MALARIOLOGY


3. THE RED LORRY RARELY LEAVES LIMURU ROAD


4. TRULY RURAL, TRULY RURAL, TRULY RURAL,....


5. HOW CAN A CLAM CRAM I! N A CLEAN CREAM CAN?


6. RED REAL REAR WHEELS

7. ON A LAZY LASER RAISER LIES A LASER RAY ERASER




8. REAL ROCK WALL, REAL ROCK WALL, REAL ROCK WALL


9. A BLACK BLOKE'S BACK BRAKE-BLOCK BROKE


10. REALLY LEERY, RARELY LARRY


11. A LUMP OF RED LEAD, A RED LEAD LUMP


12. YELLOW LORRY, BLUE LORRY


13. LITERALLY LITERARY


And lastly, 000011783 people have needed surgical tongue procedures
since
June 17, 1998.So it's not too late!


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

smoking a joint

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard(njagathi) walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.



A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "whats the matter with you?"



The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.



The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey you!"



The Monkey looks down and says "faaaaaaak dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

Friday, June 09, 2006

discovery....


After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year,
Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and

came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone

network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,

American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read:

"US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have

concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital

telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Kenyan newspapers reported the

following:


"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Kenyan scientists have found

absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their

ancestors were already using wireless technology .

Monday, June 05, 2006

i bet you didnt know that.......



Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects

the



eyeball to the anus?







It is called the anal optic nerve.



It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.







If you do not believe it, Pull a hair from your ass, and see if it



doesn't bring a tear to your eye.