Jokes , Trivia & Anecdotes...

yaaaaawn!!!!!! the silly pieces as forwarded to me. i claim no originality. so dont accuse me of plagiarism!!!

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Location: Westlands, Nairobi, Kenya

nothing much

Thursday, March 13, 2008


there was this crazy teacher
he was booed during parade and his response was
"Form 3 maraya....Form 4 Makende!!!"
LOL!!...may he rest in peace.

games teacher from meru who used to coach hokey. we went to a tournament and lost and this guy was like
that oke viud was illy and mbamby

scientific names ... what you hear when they are pronounced in strong GEMA accents
Wuchereria bancrofti - wachilia blockofoti
Schistosoma mansonii - sitasoma masomo

One day kwa parade.....
' wangapi wenu wanaenda choo(show)

fm4 maths teacher sights a noisemaker..
"u brack boy stand up" a dark dude stands up."Nooh not u,u darker bracker!"

In form 2..
during english lit class- setbook ..julius ceaser
"Heafe hoo!! theii mandad thitha!!"
(heave ho! the've murdered ceaser!)

Chem teacher...
What es ndi ndi tii ? (what is DDT?)
Ndi ndi tii stands for ndaikroro-ndaifreno-traicroro-ithen!
(ddt stands for dichlorodiphenoltrichloroethane)

A Swa teacher critisizing one of her students
" Kiyana! Umeanthiliwa na lunga ya mama!"

Sasa mwalimu wa mathematics during a double maths lesson one afternoon and most students are dozing in class seriously. Topic ni calculus bana
Mwalimu(with a kao accent): The vomula is ndi hex ndi wai (DX DY)
(Some students nod. Kimani amepatikana akilala darasani)
Mwalimu ( with a kao accent): aya Gimani simama! What av I njust saind (said)?
Students (whispering in an effort to help Kim): Sema yes, sema yes wewe!!
Kimani: the answer is yes!! (class bursts out laughing)
Mwalimu: Schupind mboy! unafikilia kachuras(calculus) unasoma ukilala lala kwa ndalasa? Nget hout and ngo wait for me at nthe ndeputy's hoffice!

the chem teacher had drama with the letter "v".
one time he said fisical city.Naturally almost kila mtu put down.Physical city.Kube! he meant VISCOSITY.

The boarding master during assembly
If I found you chairing(sharing) your share(chair) i will beat you!

this chute history teacher....
'u vary u die,u dont vary u die,vy die(U worry u die,u dony worry u die,why worry)

this commerce teacher kwanza on thursdays aftee,
double lessons in a class of dozing studeez. He would just teach and then about kedo 10 mins b4 winding up the lesson he would just start his thing ati ....
...."let the sleeping ndongz lie cz nthe nday of nthe lornd iz kaming wheny men will be seperated from womeny and it will be a nday and a half where jhu(you) will be sitting 1m apart sweating it out alone.So class let the sleeping ndongz....... "and then he would leave.

A classteacher used to say,,,,,
'my boys today u r very smart and nobody can remove me there'

Had a kyuk games master explaining the cross country translation bana .
....toush the load and you go a paper to the frag post then beat the corner and crimb the hirr,,i'rr be nrrowry on your behind..

-high skul math teacher
IF u raughs at my ingrish i wirru raugh at ur mathematics
it is very surds

another lecturer said to me as i stand by the parking lot
" excuse me madam move over i fuck my car"

Primo somwhere in Nakkss.....
Msishhana kuja hapa!!!
Fura kama Rabooo!! (flex ur arms like rambo)
Miguu kama Nijaaa!! (and ur legs like aninja turtle)
(and he chunas u in ur thighs vibaya...when u make that "sssss noise" he goes
Kura miwa! kura miwa! kura miwa! kura miwa!!!

in primo, this kao games teacher once told some gal
"musyana, iyo pumbi ita kuappect"....meaning msichana iyo vumbi ita

Primo very young boarding sch
Teacher: Wewe wasiwasi kama kuku mgeni. Umerogwa na aliyekuroga amekufa. Watever that meant.
Pull up yu socks. The gal did pull up her socks literally . It meant yu need to put more eff into yu work. That was funny

Field trip to L. Nakuru, some game warden explaining....
The framigos feed on mblu-ngleen aunji in the rake

Then the formidable Lit teacher who showed her displeasure by telling you to
'Ngo bury your nose!' yaani put your head under your desk for the remainder of the class.

Ticho to student.
I cant fig aut if u r hangere, agere or angere
......................hungry,ugly or angry

When babanginda from nigeria used to be preso.
What is the name of nigerias 1st lady called.
Student fast track...Mwarimu mwarimu Mamanginda DUHHH!

The physics teacher : "A fullet was bired..."

Same teacher..anatha gal once came to klass late..found him akifunza then she knocked en was told to "enter" the gal went excuse herself why she was late bt even b4 she opened her mouth the teacher went...
"Umesherewa kwa nini?"
the gal said "am not feeling well"
the teacher... "Umeabiwa hapa ni hospitari.."ouch.
N/B angekupata kwa makosa.."kibia 8 gireen uabie wagoi akupatie kiboko yagu uniretee.."

in hi skool?
kijana shimama unadhanish hukush ni kwa nyanyakosh!infactch nenda ukarare pare mbere kisha unifwatesh uchapwesh vibokosh!
we used to call him gomosh

when found sleeping,this ticha used to say...
..u have become mutu ya KKK....kura,kurara na kweda shooo(choo)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

wee ni urahutia! enderea na ti, wa mbimbiria kana kirikaniro.

Tuesday, 23 June, 2009  
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Sunday, 13 January, 2013  

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